Since coming to House of Hope, I feel like I have been constantly invited, often challenged, to believe and live in the promises of God. To let Him be my place of belonging and to let Him define my value. To live from Him rather than striving to do things for Him.
His promises seem so many, so rich! I marvel at them. When I delight myself in Him, He promises to give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37). When I abide in Him, He says my life will naturally bear much fruit (John 15). He invites me to come to Him, learn from Him and take His yoke (which He promises is easy and light!), and He will give me rest (Matthew 11). He says I have actually died with Him- my sins completely atoned for- and now I no longer live but He actually lives in and through me (Galatians 2).
I have known these promises for many years. I have read them many times. Yet, for so much of my life and at times even still, I find my heart disconnected from their reality. Jesus says it. I believe I can trust Him. Yet, still, there is a holding back that I feel within my soul, a reluctance to let go, to step out and live from a place of faith.
As I searched within myself, I discovered the lie, the fear hiding away in my heart, whispering… too good to be true.
I have never seemed to have this hang-up with the message of salvation- that Jesus’ death and resurrection reconciles me to the Father and opens the door for eternal life with Him. It’s the day-to-day freedom that I have struggled to receive. Too good to be true. For all around me, I hear from the world: work harder, be responsible, find a way, pull yourself up and get it done- it all depends on you. The idea of total dependence, the kind that says I don’t have to pull it off, that my best stuff only gets in the way- that just seems so… foreign.
Ah yes, says Jesus! That is exactly it! It is not “too good to be true,” for He is infinite goodness. The better it is, the truer it is. But, yes, it is foreign- a paradigm shift, a new way of living and seeing and thinking. For His thoughts and ways are higher (Isaiah 55). And so He invites me, repent- be transformed in your inner being, see everything in a new light- for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand (Matthew 4).
And so I do, every day, every moment. I repent again. I open myself to the Holy Spirit to transform me by the renewing of my mind. I die to myself and to my self-reliance. I embrace this incredibly foreign and yet incredibly true life- the life of Christ in me.