I had the opportunity to gather with women from all over the Corridor to listen and worship together at the IF: Local gathering, a two-day teleconference that is tuned in from all over the world. Speakers challenged us to love Jesus in new and deeper ways. We were given time to share a meal and speak life to one another.
I am still processing much of what was said over the course of the weekend but I can’t get past the second speaker, Jennie Allen. She said, “Put your dirt out so Jesus can clean you TODAY.”
We are washed and clothed when our lives are made new in Christ. But, often, I keep trying to prove I was worth that washing. I fear placing my feet in His hands and disappointing him with the mess that I have made of His work.
Over and over again I find myself here. I am trying to be enough. I am striving to measure up to the woman I believe God needs me to be. I try to prove myself and protect His work. I fear the tasks placed in my hands, knowing that I can never measure up to the standard. The standard I have set before myself… the standard of perfection.
My confession: I work really hard to not need Jesus.
I am all about that moment Jesus washed me clean, but when it comes to the present I want to prove I am worth it.
Best part: I don’t need to do this! I don’t have anything to prove. He has made me new. I am a DAUGHTER of the KING. I am a CHILD of GOD. I am a CO-HEIR with Christ. Why? Not because I was lost, now am found, and proving myself worthy of being found. But, because I was found. Period. Done. Finished.
This is the good news. This is gospel work. We can get free because Jesus started the work and finished the work. Now, we get to join Him.
My sisters (and brothers), if you are here with me today, take a deep breath and exhale. Place your feet in His lap and come clean with your struggle. Let Him keep washing your feet as the Spirit produces work within you. Because Jesus is enough.