Back off or move ahead?

Recently, my husband and I have been talking with his parents about the need for them to consider moving into an assisted living program due to his father’s advanced care-taking needs.  A few weeks ago, I woke up with an unusual urgency to go take a tour of the proposed potential care center.  After the tour, we went to visit his parents and for a rare and brief moment, we were invited into a deeper level of conversation with them.  I thought I could ‘hear behind’ her words a cry for help; I thought I could sense behind ‘his menacing look’ a cry for help – to get relief to his bride, to address his deepest fears of losing her, and to address his devastating fear of impending death.  I heard myself saying, “Oh my God, he’s so scared, he’s not sure of his salvation!”

At the HUGE risk of being rejected and ridiculed, I forged into a conversation, being led by something beyond my common sense, which was telling me to Back Off!

“Back off,” I heard in the back of my head.

“Move closer,” I heard from somewhere else

“You have no right to enter here”

“You are the one who can”

“Why me Lord?”

“You are the one I’ve called for a moment such as this.  You are the one who can make it safe to go there.  The words must be said.  See the desperation in his eyes? Hear the desperation in her words?”

“Yes Lord, but ….”

“No buts, just open your mouth and I will fill it with words.  Open your eyes, and I will fill them with remarkable compassion.”

And He did.  And we cried.  And the Lord ministered to four hungry souls that day.

Laura Pelechek, Marriage and Family Therapist

Laura Pelechek, Marriage and Family Therapist