Transition. In natural birth, this is the phase where the pain level gets to the point where you have done all the visualization, breathing, praying and you are ready to give up. This is when you are ready for all the drugs. Even though, you have prepared a birth plan, done everything natural up to this point, and you declared before family and friends that you are going to have this baby without an epidural. But at this point, it’s too late. But the time that you get to transition, the peak of the pain, by the time they get the guy in here and prepped you, and it started working the baby would be here.
This is not any easy phase. It’s painful. It goes and pushes up against and beyond all the strength, and peace that you can muster yourself. You no longer can believe that you can do this anymore. You can’t. You just can’t go on anymore. That baby, is just going to stay there unless someone gives you the drugs. I’ve been there. This is the funny place where even the ones that doubted you, start believing in your ability to do what seems to be impossible. You are tired. You are at the end of you. And it’s in this space where Jesus steps in. Everything else fades away. You can’t see the other people in the room. The pain is so much that you don’t even register it anymore…it’s just you eye to eye with Jesus. Breathing…somehow still breathing. Your body, even in your protests to keep going, continues to do what it’s been created to do. It’s birthing, it’s bringing life into this world, with no help of you. This was the most intimate time I have ever had with Jesus in my life. This is when I knew He truly carried me. Because I was so done.
Our souls are like this too. We were created in the image of the Creator. He births things in us. He is always about life, even when it feels like death. I have had intense encounters with God where I felt so much pain, I couldn’t go on. I texted others to pray for me because I had no strength to pray for myself. I have laid on the couch to listen to someone worship because I was too weak to do anything but lay there. I didn’t want to do it anymore. Sometimes, what we carry, the breakthrough that is occurring in our lives need to be midwifed by others. Sometimes, we need someone to advocate for what our true hearts desires are and go against our words, saying no, she doesn’t want to numb this. She wants to feel every aspect of this new life coming forth. Sometimes, we need people to be strong in our weakness.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been there. This place where God is birthing something new in you. Maybe you’ve gone through this process before, and you know it’s worth it. But you are scared to keep moving forward because it hurts. Life is about to change, and you know it will be beautiful, but it will be different. You can’t change and remain the same. The pain of pushing through the fear, the doubt, the lack of control you have over the things that are about to unfold. God is there. God is never ever going to leave you. He knows what’s coming and he won’t ever forsake you. You may not be able to see before you. You may not know the plan, or how to navigate this new landscape you find yourself in. But if you still your thoughts, you feel all the pain, you let it wash over you, and let your soul do what it’s been created to do, and trust in God you will find yourself eye to eye with Jesus. Everything else will fade. Just keep breathing.
With every new birth, there’s an old life that is left behind. Whether you were a couple who welcomes your first child, your relationship with your husband has now changed forever. It’s okay to be in this new space, so happy to have it changed but sad for what you lost in the process. It’s okay when the changes that have been birthed in your life that fill a place in your heart that you never knew was empty and at the same time creating a hole you thought was filled. God is going to show up in those places. He has always been a God of reconciliation. Did you know He created us to be whole? To not be lacking any good thing? Perfect, His original design for us, is perfection. And so, when we take all of our empty places, brokenness, or sinful lives, he sees us not how we are, but how He created us to be.
The way that God created us to operate, is often so counter to everything that we have ever experienced in life. In our world, it is normal to numb out, to fix ourselves, to blame others, and depend on others to fix the messes we have found ourselves in. God never created us to be alone. He created us to be in relationship and in community. To walk with Him, and His people. He walked the earth to show this radical lifestyle of love that is counter-cultural to everything anyone has ever seen.
Maybe you are in so much pain you don’t know how you could possibly give birth to the vision that God has placed in your spirit? Maybe you need someone to pray for you, to stand with you as you learn to stand? Maybe you need someone to listen, someone to help you get the tools you need to live in this new life you find yourself in? The House of Hope is here. You can find encouragement from others who are practiced in the principles of healthy relationships. You can find equipping classes that teach you the tools, you wish someone would have taught you long ago and you can feel the empowerment of the Holy Spirit as you begin to walk out the life that God has planned for you.